Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The Plaxico Burress Inner Thigh & Career Memorial Rankings

So just how crazy, ker-azy even, has this season been? Consider this, going into Week 12 the Titans were 10-0 and the Chiefs were 1-9. The Titans then lost to the Jets who this week lost to the Broncos who last week lost to the Raiders who this week lost to the Chiefs. Furthermore all the losses came to the home team. And with the exception of the Chiefs-Raiders game, none were particularly close. Is that my Rube Goldbergian way of saying that the Chiefs would beat the Titans in a match-up? Not exactly. But it does display just how thin the line that separates the elite from the dregs truly is.

The Lions and Giants being the extreme-end exception to the rule. And even the Giants lost to the 4-8 Browns.

Le rankings:

1. New York Giants (11-1) (-): The suspension of Burress probably will affect fantasy football playoff performances more than it will affect the Giant's.

2. Tennessee Titans (11-1) (-): Good bounce back game, even if it was the Lions. No matter who they played keeping a team 0 for 11 on third down conversions is impressive.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers (9-3) (-): Top ranked defense has allowed exactly 10 points to opponents in the last three consecutive games.

4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-3) (-): It will be very strange to see a Monte Kiffin-less Tampa defense if he does decide to join his son at the University of Tennessee.

5. Dallas Cowboys (8-4) (12): Back to back home wins against the Niners and Seahawks have gotten the Cowboys offense back in sync, this week the Steelers will prove the validity of those last two victories.

6. Atlanta Falcons (8-4) (9): I think secretly everybody is waiting for the bottom to drop off for the Falcons, but they are proving doubters wrong every week.

7. Indianapolis Colts (8-4) (-): A five game win streak coupled with three consecutive games against sub .500 team makes a wild-card spot pretty much a certainity. You know NBC is salivating over a possible Manning v Manning Super Bowl game.

8. Carolina Panthers (9-3) (13): I dropped them pretty severely after their limp showing in Atlanta, so they get a bump back up this week. They are maddeningly inconsistent week in and out, but they have won three quarters of their games, so somethings working.

9. Baltimore Ravens (8-4) (11): What a difference a year makes. At this time last season they were in the midst of a 9 game losing streak, this year they have won 6 out of their last 7.

10. New York Jets (8-4) (5): Not so fast on the Subway Super Bowl New Yorkers.

11. Minnesota Vikings (7-5) (15): The loss of the two Williamses could halt the momentum that has propelled them to the head of the division. This week they get a reunion with former number one draft pick Daunte Culpepper and the Lions.

12. New England Patriots (7-5) (6): Perhaps those "trade Brady" mutterings were a tad premature?

13. Miami Dolphins (7-5) (14): Beat the Rams in a game that featured the number one and number two draft picks of 2008. Save a trade, the Dolphins will not be drafting first this year.

14. Washington Redskins (7-5) (8): Probably pissed that their contest against Ravens got pushed to primetime, where they are 0-3 this year.

15. Arizona Cardinals (7-5) (10): Oh yeah, I guess they are still the Cardinals after all.

16. Denver Broncos (7-5) (19): Interesting AFC West Point Margin stat #1: The Broncos have won two more games then they have lost, but have been outscored 292-319 on the year.

17. New Orleans Saints (6-6) (16): With Deuce suspended, it seems all but certain that Drew Brees will surpass Dan Marino single season passing record.
18. Chicago Bears (6-6) (17): The much vaunted defense is sure giving up a lot of points this season.
19. Philadelphia Eagles (6-5-1) (21): Just when you think Donovan is out...they pull him back in. Hopefully the rest of the season will be better for them than Godfather III.
20. Green Bay Packers (5-7) (18): For a team that made the NFC Championship game last year, not making the playoffs has got to be a disappointment, however, the future looks good, this is after all Rodgers' first full year as a starter and if the Jets make the playoffs, they get an additional second round draft pick.
21. Houston Texans (5-7) (23): Won their first ever Monday Night Football game. That's got to count for something...right?
22. Buffalo Bills (6-6) (20): Record since giving Dick Jauron a mid-season extension: 2-6.
23. San Diego Chargers (4-8) (22): Interesting AFC West point-margin stat #2: San Diego has lost four more games than they have won, yet have a point differential margin of plus 16 on the year.
24. San Francisco 49ers (4-8) (26): Nice assist by Bills kicker Rian Lidell. Still it's impressive that they won considering how outplayed they were stat-wise, usually only good teams eek out those kind of wins, see the Colts win over the Browns.
25. Jacksonville Jaguars (4-8) (-): Hard to believe this is the same team, sans Marcus Stroud and some injured players, that went into Pittsburgh in the playoffs and beat the Steelers in January.
26. Cleveland Browns (4-8) (24): Hey if you get desperate for another QB Cleveland, I am sure Seattle will give you Charlie Frye back.
27. Kansas City Chiefs (2-10) (30): Hey a Larry Johnson siting!
28. Oakland Raiders (3-9) (-): Raiders-Chargers Thursday night game will be broadcast in 3-D in selected movie theatres, which makes sense seeing how the majority of movies shown in 3-D are horror films.
29. Seattle Seahawks (2-10) (27): Have only won one game at home this season, so much for the twelfth man.
30. Cincinnati Bengals (1-10-1) (29): Making cross-state rivals Browns look good in comparison.
31. St. Louis Rams (2-10) (-): Were only outscored by one point in the first half this week. Hey, it's a start.
32. Detroit Lions (0-12) (-): While I am a sucker for tradition and don't wish to join the choruses of people requesting the Lions lose their annual Thanksgiving game...I would agree that until the Lions are competitive, these holiday games shouldn't be televised.

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